FUNNY CAR JOKE!!! LOOK!!

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00

Oil Change instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew d rain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes.
Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minute s because wrench hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) More Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total-- $4,165.00
But you know the job was done right

That's some funny $^!% there! I was about to get offended by the woman taking it to Jiffy Lube and not doing it herself, but the point of the story is hiliarious!!!!!

lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheStig

lol

quote:

  1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, man comes out and tell you your tranny needs flushed, along with your radiator.   the differential in your FWD car needs drained.  your filters are dirty, your wipers are shot, your fuel needs treated.   How long has it been since your tires were rotated?  your due for this, that and the other
4)wait 2 hours and get your car back
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
misc work done $347.35
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
 
explaining to your gear-head boyfriend that the guy was only trying to help - Priceless

 
 
not only fixed, but a mastercard parody

lmfao

i feel sorry for that guy, it took me 20 miutes and at cost of like 12 bucks to change my oil friday night.

bahahahaha

Wow!!! Thats funny.

That would probably go down as the most epic oil change in history.

Aside from all the beer and jail thats about whats it's like one time when I changed my oil.

the "fix" i posted actually happened to my GF

ok, now its time to check the date of the OP

ur the one that brought it back, not us
posting in old threads with new content really isnt all that amusing. 

Yea but it's funny and I have never read it before

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpecterGT260

ur the one that brought it back, not us
posting in old threads with new content really isnt all that amusing. 

I see how it is spector

beer

wow that reminds me of someone......

One time a guy at the oil change place tried telling my aunt that her coolant was an an unsafe temperature and needed replaced.  She almost had them do it too 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpecterGT260

quote:

  1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, man comes out and tell you your tranny needs flushed, along with your radiator.   the differential in your FWD car needs drained.  your filters are dirty, your wipers are shot, your fuel needs treated.   How long has it been since your tires were rotated?  your due for this, that and the other
4)wait 2 hours and get your car back
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
misc work done $347.35
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00

explaining to your gear-head boyfriend that the guy was only trying to help - Priceless

not only fixed, but a mastercard parody

Um, I think you have a problem with the math involved in this one..........but freakin hilarious non-the-less :)

there was an edit made to relate to a similar event, you missed that part